Recovering, rejuvenating, reconnecting

I’ve been away from this space for a while. I’ve been busy and that’s part of it. I also haven’t felt like myself for a while… oh say about a year now. I’ve been keeping “daily life” things running, but the spark inside of me faded over the past year. I stopped nurturing myself. A disconnect opened up between how I want to live and how I actually do live. Instead of being a conscious consumer and protector of our planet, I have been relying more and more on prepared foods and products to get us through the day. I have not be aware of what I eat and drink, and have consumed waaaay more than I should have. I have not stretched my legs and lifted my spirit on a hike in the woods, nor have I nurtured my imagination and creative spirit by reading, writing and creating. In essence, a part of me died. The part that is critical to my well-being is not functioning as it should.

What made all of that happen? Last year at about this time the factory near our home started up production and began to make round-the-clock noise that invaded our life in more ways you can imagine. It was more than just an annoying noise. It penetrated our bodies and souls. We don’t live near it anymore, but I do find myself processing the whole experience. I realize now that I have been in recovery since we moved at the end of January. I have been through three months of unconscious, quiet recovery, and now I am ready to start an intentional journey toward rejuvenation.

For the past three months I’ve woken up to the idea of intentionally digging deep into my feelings, thoughts and spirit. This week I realized I’m ready to start. I have some important questions to explore. I’ll start with these:

What does my life look like at various points in the future? What steps can I take to get there?

There are disconnects between the things I do and the things I want to do. What are they?

When I’m having a happy, fulfilling moment, what am I doing?

Recovering means tapping into my creative side once again. It means noticing what is happening in the here and now. Intentionally being good to myself. Striving for health and peace. This is another leg of my journey through life. I see what I need to do, and I am ready. Thank you for being with me.

 

6 Responses to Recovering, rejuvenating, reconnecting

  1. Alexis May 4, 2012 at 1:18 am #

    Jillian, I hope this isn’t offensive to you, but you sound like a psychotherapist! Your goals inspire me – thanks!

    • Mama Jillian May 4, 2012 at 12:58 pm #

      Haha! You know I’m a DIY chick, so maybe I can save myself some therapy time by doing it myself!
      I’m happy to hear you are inspired. Go forth!

  2. Heather Lambert May 4, 2012 at 4:52 am #

    I am glad that you are on the uphill side of this. I can understand those feelings… life can be overwhelming! I don’t know how you find the time to do all of the homemaking things you do. :) I am glad you are recovering and I hope you can have the strength to make all of your goals a reality.

    • Mama Jillian May 4, 2012 at 12:59 pm #

      Thanks Heather. Life is full of ups and downs right? The upside is definitely much nicer!!!!

Trackbacks/Pingbacks

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    […] On my path of recovery and connection I realize that I spent the past year shutting out my thoughts and feelings. I was afraid to be quiet in my own mind because the feelings were too powerful and threatening. I felt scared because my home -my sanctuary- was being invaded and I couldn’t do anything about it. The place where I came to recharge no longer provided shelter. Because I consider my house to be my safe place, I didn’t have another place to go. That made me feel angry. I took action and tried to change the situation by rallying the neighborhood and petitioning the authorities, but it wasn’t successful. The fight was too big and unbalanced. Aside from this being a personal problem for my family, I knew that this was another example of environmental injustice that is found around the world. We are harming our one and only planet. You can find examples of it everywhere. The enormity of the issue couldn’t be ignored. I couldn’t handle it. I shut it out. I shut down. […]

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    […] world. I’ve mentioned before that coming out of the fog that hovered over me during the Worst Year of My Life has taken a bit of time. I’ve turned the corner and am moving forward, away from pain and […]

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