It’s springtime and my whole world is waking up. The robins are back from where ever they go in the winter, and we see pairs flying here and there, getting ready to hatch some new eggs. The Common Redpolls that have been at our feeders all winter come in great numbers now – over 100 at a time, perhaps 200. They eat so much food in one sitting, and I’m wondering if they are stocking up before their long flight home to the Arctic.
I’m waking up too. My youngest child is now 6 years old, my oldest is 8, I’m about to turn 40, and it’s time to say good-bye to these years of early motherhood. My mind and my body are more my own now than they have been in the last 8 years. It’s a good feeling to reclaim them and to feel independent again. It’s like I’m finally grown up all over again. I can make my own decisions, independent of my children’s needs much more often than I could before. What this means right now is that I have more time – linear time and mental time – to invest in myself, to check in with myself, to listen to myself. Life is less about reacting in the moment and more about slowing down and looking ahead a bit. Where is this life path going? Does it feel like a comfortable path? Do I like where it seems to be headed?